


Skip Accross the Overflow

by FakePlastikTrees



Category: Damages, The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: F/F, mention of miranda/andy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-06
Updated: 2012-08-06
Packaged: 2017-11-11 14:12:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/479368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FakePlastikTrees/pseuds/FakePlastikTrees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Patty and Ellen are getting married. Patty needs help from her good friend Nigel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Skip Accross the Overflow

**Author's Note:**

> The prompt asked for Patty shopping for a wedding dress/suit, and her thinking about her relationship with Ellen and their future wedding. This only made sense in the Devil Wears Prada/Damages Universe I've cooked up in my head, so it turned into a crossover.

************** 

 

"I can't believe this is happening," Are the first words out of Nigel's mouth as soon as Patty opens her front door to receive him. There is a long, dry tone to his voice that is coated with affection and laced with a warm smile that shows his earnest happiness for his friend.

 

"Shut up." Patty says dreadfully, rolling her eyes as leans in and receives a kiss on the cheek.

 

"I've got to tell you, Patty--" He says as he makes his way inside her apartment and scratches Cory's head, who greets him with a lot more exuberance than his owner appears to currently posses, "--when Miranda told me, I didn't believe it..."

 

Letting the door swing shut behind her, Patty sighs and hates Miranda just a little bit. Her so called best friend _would_ bring the news to Nigel before Patty would. 

 

"...but here you are." Making himself at home the indulgence of familiarity he's been able to sustain over the years, Nigel drops his belongings on the coffee table--a couple of notebooks with an array of post-its sticking out at the side--and moves straight through to the liquor cabinet to serve himself a drink as Patty opts to take a seat on the couch. "So what are we thinking?" he asks, pouring bourbon over a small pile of ice cubes sitting at the bottom of his glass, "Dress? Pants?"

 

Patty sighs and sinks deeper into the leather couch, "I don't know. What's Ellen wearing?"

 

"A Galliano vintage jumpsuit."

 

Patty looks up and her face forms somewhat of a grimace, "Really?"

 

Nigel's brow goes up in amusement before sitting on the other end of the couch, "No. But you looked just like Miranda just now.I don't know what Ellen is wearing."

 

"You know exactly what Ellen is wearing. You took her measurements."

 

"Yes, but I was sworn to secrecy, so stop asking me. What do YOU want to wear? That is the real question."

 

"At this point, I think a straight jacket because I should be insane to think a wedding at my age is acceptable."

 

"Why wouldn't it be acceptable? Do you know who you are? You're Patty fucking Hewes, you can do whatever you want."

 

"I'm too old for this."

 

He stares at her for a great while, trying with little delicacy to force the truth out of her with a cutting glare. "You're full of shit."

 

"Excuse me?"

 

"You're just scared that the marriage is going to ruin everything with Ellen--just like your first marriage. But you're forgetting something."

 

"What's that?" Patty asks, already growing tense at Nigel's bold tone. The man never really learned boundaries. She thinks it's because she's a lot more easy going than Miranda. Perhaps that was a mistake. The man is too comfortable calling Patty on her shit.

 

"You didn't love Phil."

 

"I loved Phil," She replies.

 

"But you weren't in love with him."

 

"What's love got to do with it?" She scoffs and sips her drink, "It's all about the same thing at the end of the day. Security. Convenience."

 

Nigel snorts and crosses one plaid covered leg over the other and pushes his glasses higher on his nose, "Okay, Tina Turner, I'm sure the way you two look at each other is oh so convenient for you. I'm sure Ellen's little start up, non-connected little firm with a staff of all of three people is VERY convenient to you. And poor Patricia Hewes with no money, oh yes, security is what you're getting from Ellen Parsons, I'm sure." He rolls his eyes, "Please. You're freaking out about 'how is this going to last after the wedding' and that's all it is."

 

"Wouldn't you be? It's a perfectly legitimate concern."

 

"No, it's selfish," He says sternly, "You've done the marriage thing, you've been there. Ellen has not. She believes in this future with you and she wants to experience it herself. If you weren't prepared for it--and don't tell me you didn't know this was coming--then you shouldn't have let this relationship last as long as it has with someone as young as she is. Both you and Miranda need a serious reality check. I don't know what you were expecting getting yourself involved with someone half your age, for Christ's sake..."

 

"All right!" Patty snaps, cutting off Nigel, who has become quickly worked up. "Jesus, calm down!"

 

He rubs his temple with his thumb and index finger, and breathes in deeply before looking up and offering an apologetic look, "I'm sorry. I'm just stressed. You lesbians stress me out. I liked it better when you all pretended you weren't into couture."

 

Patty smiles and shakes her head. "It's--alarming to me...how much sense you've just made. And if you tell anyone that I just said that I'll kill you and make it look like an accident."

 

"I believe you," He replies, with a sigh that makes his statement all the more unbelievable. "So can we move on from cold feet to what you want to wear?"

 

"A dress, I suppose. Nothing too flashy."

 

"Great." he says, reaching for his notepad and pencil to begin jotting down notes. "Marchessa is doing beautiful things with embroidery this season. Very chic and sleek. Perfect for you."

 

"I do like Marchessa."

 

"Mmhmm. Ellen is wearing Marchessa, I can tell you that much. It would be a nice match-up."

 

Patty perks up at the sound of that and asks, "She is?"

 

"Yes," He says quickly, then adds as he writes, never once looking up at Patty, "What about color?"

 

"Not white."

 

"Definitely NOT white, no. Sleeves, yes?"

 

"Definitely, yes."

 

"What about length?"

 

She sighs, "Surprise me."

 

He looks up from his pad then and stares.

 

"This isn't the cold feet talking," She defends, "This is just me--doing this for Ellen. Remember? Do what you have to do, just don't make me look like an idiot. I have but one thing to request, Nigel."

 

"What's that?"

 

Now she leans forward and darts her narrowed glare at him, looking as if she's about to deliver  a death threat. "My hair will not sport and up-do. That's where I draw the line."

 

He laughs. "Okay."

 

"Good."

 

He watches her closely for a few moments and then inhales sharply before stating openly, "I've got something in mind for you. Vintage Chanel. Embroidered lace from shoulder to floor--a short train, it's barely a train, we can do maybe an off-white champagne shade, three quarter sleeve and a V-Neck--a black actually, with your skin would look amazing. I have been waiting for an excuse to bring that dress out, please say yes."

 

"Okay," She says with a shrug.

 

His face lights up like nothing Patty has ever seen and he sighs again, "I'm so happy right now, I can't even tell you..."

 

She laughs. "You look like a twelve year old."

 

"I feel like a twelve year old. This is going to the Best wedding you've ever been to, I promise you."

 

"Is Ellen's dress a big, wedding cake mess of a dress?" 

 

Nigel stares at Patty over the dark frame of his glasses and sighs, long and heavy before he states sternly, "Don't even think about pulling out that Patty Hewes intimidation tactic you're so well known for. It won't work on me. I'm not afraid of you. I work with Miranda Priestley, remember?" 

 

Patty rolls her eyes and finds refuge in another large gulp of alcohol. "I wonder if it's too late to go with a maid of honor after all. She needs to pay for not encouraging Andy to advice Ellen against this whole thing."

 

"I love how both you and Miranda think you can 'control 'these women, when really, you're a lost cause. Why won't you just stop struggling and go down easily?" 

 

Patty smirks at that and says, "Now where's the fun in that?" 

 

****  


End file.
